Becoming Mama

Mama - just a word right? But to me it's everything I ever dreamed about and wished for.  When I was a little girl and had dreams of being a mommy one day. Having my little one come running to me saying....mama! 

Over the years that vision grew as most things, you get older..life happens. :) Dreams of a loving man, a wedding, a home and a family of your very own. I knew what I wanted and it was always to be a wife and a Mom.

The saying that God knows the desires of your heart could never be more true. While Darrell and I struggled over 15 years to get pregnant - through miscarriages, medications, tests.... we never gave up our hope and dream.

Praying, hoping, wishing that we could start our family. A desire we both shared. There were times that you get angry. Frustrated that others have what you want. Times where you say, God why? Those are the times you pray. And then pray some more.

It's hard. Patience is hard. Waiting is hard.

But you have to live in the moment and enjoy and be grateful for what you have now.

I was so blessed to have the opportunity to run my own daycare for 14 of those years.

What an absolute pleasure it was to be with these sweet babies! Seeing their daily joy and watching them grow taught me so many things.

The friendships and connections I made with them and their parents are so incredibly special to me. They will be a part of my family forever.

And when Darrell and I decided our path to a family was through adoption you could not have asked for better support and love. Between family and friends we had so much encouragement and prayers on our journey.

God knew. He always does. We all tend to forget that when we want something or are struggling.

He had a plan.

Even after we decided to adopt it was almost 2 years before we "got the call". I will never forget that day. The birth parents had chosen us to meet with them.

Wow! Out of everyone they could have picked they chose us. It is overwhelming.

It is incredible. It is terrifying. Lol

How do you plan for something like that? Your whole dream of a family is in their hands and hearts. On the 3 hour drive to meet them so many scenarios run through your mind. But you pray. And then pray some more.

He had a plan.

When we met them it was as if we had known them all along. It was this feeling of connection that is hard to describe. They told us that day that we were the ones. They hadn't even met with anyone else. We hug and cry and it's a moment that God planned. What are the chances we find each other in this incredibly filled world? Only by his grace and plan.

Over the next 5 months we planned, we waited, we dreamed and again we prayed.

The day we got the call she was in labor was a whirlwind. We left as soon as we could and drive 5 hours. (We missed the birth by an hour - little man didn't want to wait lol)

Seeing him and holding him for the first time. Oh, my 💓. Brimming, overflowing, joyful.

There were so many tears that day. Tears if gratitude and love for this beautiful couple who gave us such a gift, tears of absolute love and joy to meet our little boy.

The next day we got news that he was sick and needed a transfer to a larger facility with a NICU unit. Watching them load him in the transport was absolute torture. We loved him before he even arrived, we loved him before we saw him, we were so in love with him. We felt a new parents pain and fear just like any other parent.

Don't let anyone ever tell you that adoption is different. It is love and more love.

We followed the ambulance and were practically banging at the door to see him when we arrived at UVA. Lol

We camped out. We weren't leaving. Our son is in there.

After 7 days we were able to bring home our HEALTHY little boy.

God had a plan. 💓

Over the past 2 years Adam has grown, developing into this funny, loving, smart little boy. He is our joy, our dream come true.

And when he says Mama in that sweet little way. My 💓 melts over and over again. I can't hear it enough. 15 years I waited.

People joke with me, oh pretty soon you will tire of him saying it when he drives you crazy. Hmmmm..... Right now I can never imagine saying that. Mama is a word I never thought I would hear for so long.

Mama is a word I treasure. Yes, there will be days when it's hectic and he's fussy and the stress gets to me. But not wanting to hear it? It’s hard to imagine.

I don't want miss a minute of raising this little boy. He is my treasure and my 💓.

So go ahead and say mama as much as you want little boy. I am right here.

Mama loves you. 💓💓💓💓💓💓